Category Archives: Marriage mete

When do you change course?

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boat

There are many things that have great potential for isolating us from others in our lives. Our schedules. Our work. To live in the boondocks. Our decision to marry… to become parents. I do truly believe that there are friends that you keep for long periods of time with scant maintenance… the Spider Plants of kinship. A phone call here, an email there. A text with a humorous photo that reminds us of a funny past experience,…or not. Just keeps it light and in love. And you are left still with a budding green living thing that brings smiles and sweet air to your day, time and time again.

But then there are the folks that you reach out to again and again. Same channels, but horrible reception. We are all in it, knee high or to our necks… but we try to get past that scrum so we can just keep in touch. And we do so from a place of really wanting to check in with them, to see how the waters fare over in their jetty. Letting go of our shit, just saying Hey! How ARE you sister? I still love and think about you! I know it’s crazy over there because X-Y and Zzzz…. But catch me up! Give me the good word.

And ya get nada. Half-hearted replies, or nothing at all. You persist, again- being sympathetic to the currents, tides and tsunamis. But how may times can you shine the light their way? How many times do you reach out in hopes of connecting? Cuz after awhile, it starts to hurt when they don’t respond. or when they do so only superficially with promises of connecting that just never stay afloat.

To paraphrase a former teacher of mine, we need to stay spaciously aware of our boundaries… To love unconditionally, but stay abreast of where your borders are to avoid Soul Vampires. These creatures come in many forms, with various degrees of malice, whether realized or not, but metta/ loving-kindness starts with us, within, first and foremost. If we cannot care for ourselves deeply enough to build, maintain and nourish this space, this metta – we cannot extend it to others. We are all special beings that possess a lot of love and light, and need to learn and master the art of never giving our power away.

The Universe is an exceptional teacher and offers us wisdom in every cap, crest and breaker. It is an exquisite job to heed the siren call, and find our way home.

with love, always. To all.